Thursday, December 18, 2014

Freudian Breakfast

I pass this van on my way to work every day: 

Curious choice of sausage to pair with the donuts. Hmmmm.......

Monday, December 15, 2014

Questionable Punctuation

All I want for Christmas is correct -- or at least unambiguous -- punctuation usage.

Much thanks to Nikki Palermo, who found this posted on the inside of the door of the only bathroom at a veterinary clinic she was working at.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Possessive Conundrums

I discovered these things at the store today:

They look good, but what really caught my attention was the name: OMG's. Is there the legitimate need for the apostrophe? Is OMG a person or entity to where these are his/her/its Chocolaty Clusters, and thus, the possessive 's is necessary? Or, if OMG stands for "oh my god," which I would assume it does, then might an OMG be something so good that it makes you say "Oh my god," and thus, an OMG is synonymous with a Chocolaty Cluster? And wouldn't that suggest redundancy? And if so, wouldn't a plural s be more appropriate here? And if this is the case, wouldn't the apostrophe be just another example of grammatical superfluity (as in the case with "the 1980's")? The company that makes these is called OMG's Candy, so that's no help.

Am I spending too much time thinking about this matter?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Strangle Me Elmo

This holiday season, give your child the gift of Muppet-induced asphyxiation. 

A big thanks -- and a creepy, threatening hug -- to founding friend of the Gallery of the Absurd, Brian Donahue.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Kink Control

The product name says it all.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Inns and Outs

Last month my wife and I were passing through Bessemer, AL, and we were having a difficult time finding a hotel with a vacancy. We ended up staying at this choice location: 

We have no idea why this establishment referred to itself in the plural. But this is in Alabama, after all.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

"Meat Service"

Oh!  The many ways to qualify or even ironize "meat service"!

Seedy Categorization

This the season...for melon-squash confusion!

Happy getting ready for Thanksgiving, everybody!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

F**kin' Fish

The other week my wife and I were driving through Mineola, TX, and we passed by this restaurant: 

What the hell is that fish doing to the burger??!!

Perhaps their fish burgers are delicious. But did the owner of this establishment ever consider the implications of this image?


I was in the grocery store the other day, and I found this in the produce aisle: 

It may not seem very weird or disturbing...that is, until you take a closer look at Buddy:

What is it about kiwifruit and strange packaging? Remember Ripe and Easy?

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Face of Pizza

The front of a pizza box from a small pizzeria in Austin, TX:

I could go off on the whole "delicious moments" thing, but what perplexes me is why one of the pizza dudes is very cartoony, while the other one is rendered more realistically.

Also, those "sausages" hanging down on the right are rather disturbing.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Green Cooking Freak

I found this image on a box of cooking ware:

There's something about the expression of this guy that really frightens me. I'm not sure if it's enthusiasm or psychosis.

And the fact that the company linked this image with "green" or "healthy" cooking just makes me want to run to McDonald's.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Punctuating Parrott

Went to early voting today, doing my civic duty, and this is what I found: 

Here is someone running for the TX State Board of Education, ending a question -- "May I please have your vote" -- with an exclamation mark. Oh, the irony...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sam Peach Butt Head

Driving from NC to TX today, and I found this at a Georgia rest stop: 

Please take a moment to ponder the choice of this visitor center's mascot. The peach-head Uncle Sam reminds me of the water tower in Gaffney, SC...that is, it reminds me of someone's ass.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

More Duck Excrement

Back in December, I pointed out the sheer ridiculousness of marketing items as Duck Dynasty-sponsored products, especially when the commodity in question has nothing whatsoever to do with these bearded redneck fakes and the kind of lifestyle they're trying to portray. There may be some products, such as t-shirts and bandanas, that might make sense as DD-related. For example, it wouldn't surprise me if the DD guys decided to lend their pusses to Clivan Bundy-raised beef or perhaps the next Ted Nugent album (or has this guy given up music for other types of hysterical noise?). But can the same really be said for computer mouse pads?

Folders for school kids?

And -- for crying out loud! -- peanut butter cups?

When I see crap like this in the store, I just want to weep uncontrollably for the state of our popular culture. That, and feel an irresistible urge to take a piss.

Changing LINKS