Saturday, July 4, 2015

Hello, Newman

I saw this at the grocery store this morning. I like Newman's Own products, and I respect the brand and its philosophy. But there's something a little creepy about this label:

The woman's hands engulfing Newman's face look long and emaciated, and the arms that are reaching up from off-panel appear unnaturally thin, as well. And what's up with those gigantic green and white rings? Any way you dice it, the composition is on the disturbing side. 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Yes, but Is It "Art"?

I often pass this "outlet" on my way to work:

Let's take a "closer" look at the "sign":

Thank you, qualifying quotation marks!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Freudian Breakfast

I pass this van on my way to work every day: 

Curious choice of sausage to pair with the donuts. Hmmmm.......

Monday, December 15, 2014

Questionable Punctuation

All I want for Christmas is correct -- or at least unambiguous -- punctuation usage.

Much thanks to Nikki Palermo, who found this posted on the inside of the door of the only bathroom at a veterinary clinic she was working at.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Possessive Conundrums

I discovered these things at the store today:

They look good, but what really caught my attention was the name: OMG's. Is there the legitimate need for the apostrophe? Is OMG a person or entity to where these are his/her/its Chocolaty Clusters, and thus, the possessive 's is necessary? Or, if OMG stands for "oh my god," which I would assume it does, then might an OMG be something so good that it makes you say "Oh my god," and thus, an OMG is synonymous with a Chocolaty Cluster? And wouldn't that suggest redundancy? And if so, wouldn't a plural s be more appropriate here? And if this is the case, wouldn't the apostrophe be just another example of grammatical superfluity (as in the case with "the 1980's")? The company that makes these is called OMG's Candy, so that's no help.

Am I spending too much time thinking about this matter?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Strangle Me Elmo

This holiday season, give your child the gift of Muppet-induced asphyxiation. 

A big thanks -- and a creepy, threatening hug -- to founding friend of the Gallery of the Absurd, Brian Donahue.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Kink Control

The product name says it all.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Inns and Outs

Last month my wife and I were passing through Bessemer, AL, and we were having a difficult time finding a hotel with a vacancy. We ended up staying at this choice location: 

We have no idea why this establishment referred to itself in the plural. But this is in Alabama, after all.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

"Meat Service"

Oh!  The many ways to qualify or even ironize "meat service"!

Seedy Categorization

This the season...for melon-squash confusion!

Happy getting ready for Thanksgiving, everybody!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

F**kin' Fish

The other week my wife and I were driving through Mineola, TX, and we passed by this restaurant: 

What the hell is that fish doing to the burger??!!

Perhaps their fish burgers are delicious. But did the owner of this establishment ever consider the implications of this image?


I was in the grocery store the other day, and I found this in the produce aisle: 

It may not seem very weird or disturbing...that is, until you take a closer look at Buddy:

What is it about kiwifruit and strange packaging? Remember Ripe and Easy?

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Face of Pizza

The front of a pizza box from a small pizzeria in Austin, TX:

I could go off on the whole "delicious moments" thing, but what perplexes me is why one of the pizza dudes is very cartoony, while the other one is rendered more realistically.

Also, those "sausages" hanging down on the right are rather disturbing.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Green Cooking Freak

I found this image on a box of cooking ware:

There's something about the expression of this guy that really frightens me. I'm not sure if it's enthusiasm or psychosis.

And the fact that the company linked this image with "green" or "healthy" cooking just makes me want to run to McDonald's.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Punctuating Parrott

Went to early voting today, doing my civic duty, and this is what I found: 

Here is someone running for the TX State Board of Education, ending a question -- "May I please have your vote" -- with an exclamation mark. Oh, the irony...

Changing LINKS