The Gallery on Hiatus

Dear Friends of the Gallery:

As many of you have noticed, I have not been posting entries on The Gallery of the Absurd since mid-March. This isn't because of the lack of fodder for The Gallery (far from it), but rather, it stems from a redirection of time and energies. Last year my friend Andy Kunka and I began a podcast, The Comics Alternative, a weekly show devoted to the discussion and analysis of comics (primarily indie or non-superhero titles). Furthermore, over the past couple of months we have been developing The Comics Alternative through enhanced episodes, increased sponsorships, and with plans for a substantive blog, complete with book reviews, critical analyses, and interviews. We've been putting a lot of work into this endeavor, and I have found that this has been limiting my free time...including the time I have devoted to The Gallery of the Absurd. Several of you have contacted me to ask 1) if I am okay -- and yes I am, thanks for asking! -- or 2) if I had quit doing The Gallery of the Absurd. I won't say at this time that I am stopping the Gallery, but due to competing endeavors (i.e., The Comics Alternative), I'm putting the Gallery on hiatus. I may come back to it in the near or later future, but for now I'm taking a break from updating The Gallery of the Absurd.  However, there are PLENTY of Gallery entries for fans to (re)visit, including most of the entires that made up the original Webby Award-winning Gallery of the Absurd from the 1990s. So please, enjoy those. Besides, the original Gallery wasn't a website that was updated daily, but a repository of strange ads, labels, and signs that grew more slowly and developed over time.

So until later, keep your eyes open for the absurd, and contact me if you find any weirdness out there!

Veggieclean Nancy

An advertisement from the local Santa Cruz newspaper, Good Times: 

The weird thing about this ad isn't the "veggieclean" part, since a cleaning company can be environmentally conscious (and that's good). No, the weird part is the presence of Nancy Reagan.

Kind of sad.

The Funky Taste of Passion

Something I saw stuck at a stoplight in Dallas: 

Do you really want to taste "passion" in your morning coffee?  Wasn't that why you took the shower?

Cute Crap

Some might find this packaging cute.

I just find it annoying.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 3/11/13

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of March 11th:

This guy's gait looks unnatural, like he's just learned how to walk.

Either that, or perhaps he pooped in his pants just like the Annoying J. Crew Model from February 25th.

Jarhead

Filled with fine meaty goodness, it's this week's installment of  

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Deliciousness from 1946:

I'm not sure which is more disturbing: the tamales in a jar or the smiling grocer holding them up for display.

Santa Troll Broom Thing?

I saw this in a Dollar General store the other day, but I'm not exactly sure what the hell it is:  

The description on the box says something about "the trolls of the mountain," but the image looks something like Santa Claus.  But then the banner over santa troll's head reads "A touch of country magic."  So what does "country magic"--and what exactly is country magic?--have to do with Santa Claus or trolls?  They're trying to sell brooms here, so why the mixed layers of references and imagery?

Blind Exploitation

Here's yet another flyer I recently received in the mail:  

I'm scratching my head here, trying to figure out why the kid is in this advertisement.  What does he have to do with the content of the flyer?  It's for an organization called Heritage for the Blind, but this boy doesn't seem to be blind at all.  And there's nothing about the service, or the way it is framing itself, that suggests anything child-friendly or kid-related.  I know that market and design people like to use children in their ads to give things a particular feel -- something is innocent, something is pure, something is good for the family -- but what the hell is the function of this kid? Is he going to come tow your truck?  Is he threatening to visit your home and blind you?

Jet Freak

From another flyer I received in the mail recently:  

I don't want this mascot's image anywhere near whatever I plan on putting into my mouth.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 3/4/13

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of March 4th: 

If this dude weren't already injured, I'd want to break his legs...just for looking like a real dumb ass.

Memories of Mom's Liver

Mmmmmmm.  What's cooking?  Something smells good this morning.  What is it?  Might it be this week's installment of 

RETRO-ADTIVITY?

Something sizzling from 1959:

"Mornindine" was the trade name of pipamazine, a drug prescribed for women during pregnancy, supposedly to help alleviate morning sickness.  It was eventually pulled from the market because it caused hepatic lesions.

But screw mom's liver!  As long as she gets up to make everyone breakfast, and dad doesn't have to dirty his hands, who cares?  Right?

Toilet Rainbow Baby

Last week I posted a not-very-well-thought-out flyer from C&W Plumbing, here in the greater Dallas area.  In that ad there was a picture of a kid's face -- apparently their trademark -- in a drain with the words "We'll wash away your troubles!" directly underneath.  Here's another one from this paragon of the plumbing world: 

A couple of things here.  First, you still have the kid's face next to (and apparently associated with) the object of their service, this time a toilet.  Second, there's a rainbow coming out of the bowl.  Is this any kind of commentary on the value of the baby, or perhaps the kind of things the baby's parents have been eating...or some strange signifying of both?

The Sanitary Twist

A recent commercial for Tena sanitary pads:



What's so happy and dance-worthy about a sanitary napkin?  As my wife asked when she first saw this commercial, shouldn't they instead be upset, discomforted, and pissed off?

Busty Language

Oy!  More incongruous web ads!  

Here are a couple of recent ad links that came up on my Facebook page, both for the Pimsleur Approach language program.  Tell me, what do the women in these ads have to do with learning Spanish?  

And of course an obvious question, what "selling points" do these two women have in common?

For more of these annoying advertisements, check out the Gallery entries Trans Dad, Weird Prick Trick, Gland Error, Breast Savings, Boob Loan, and Sleep Rack.

Everett Leaves the Coop

Today C. Everett Koop passed away.  In memory, I'd like to feature an entry with Koop that I posted back on June 13, 2008.  However, the very first time I posted this was in the original Gallery of the Absurd back in the late 1990s.  Goodbye, Mr. Surgeon General.
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C. Everett eat his eggs. I found this on the inside of a carton of eggs I bought.


From Reagan's Surgeon General to shiller of that incredible, edible orb. Egg-cellent!