Monday, October 20, 2008

Ba-ba-ba-Bing

Who knew that ol' Bing was so talented!

By the way, doesn't this guy look more like a young Sinatra than he does Bing Crosby?

Much thanks to Rob McKenna who found this ad in a Chicago Heights newspaper a few years ago.

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Clowns

This is part of an ad campaign for McDonald's in India:

Another reason to believe that McDonald's is just pure evil.

If you don't believe that Ronald is evil incarnate, just take a look at him line dancing.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/20/08

I present to you, your Annoying J. Crew Model for the Week of October 20, 2008. Last week I featured three women looking oh so happy, walking arm in arm as if they were traipsing down the Yellow Brick Road. This week, I present images that also feature women together.

There's just something about this combination that screams out diversity, almost as if they're hitting us over the head with it. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for diversity, in whatever form it might take. It's just that when it's packaged so strategically like this (especially when the "darker" model looks whitewashed, so to speak), my cynic's radar goes off.

On the other hand, these two are really hot.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

When Whimsy and Fancy Are Just Plain Wrong

Here's a musical revue that was performed in the Dallas, TX area a couple of years ago:

I'm not sure which is more disturbing: the fact that there was ever such a thing as Clowntasia or the fact that there was enough interest for its return.

Only Your Proctologist Will Know

Here's something every nature-lover should own: a Wild World Pencil Sharpener!

As we can see here, it's a rather cute little device.

And the package provides easy-to-read instructions that anyone can follow, children and adults alike.

But perhaps given the anatomical requirements of this pencil sharpener, and the significance of its "rear part," it's a device better left to adults.


By the way, notice the words on the very front of the package: "Safe the animals."

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Quotes Gone Horribly Wrong

Followers of the Gallery of the Absurd know all about one of our special features, Don't "Quote" Me on That, dedicated to the inappropriate use of quotation marks in signs, labels, and advertisements. Here are a couple of signs that not only use quotations haphazardly, but do so in ways that make no sense whatsoever:

So where does the "quote" end here? Is it "They," or is it "They say no!!!"? The credit market hangs in the balance. (Also note the highly effective use of the triple exclamation points.)


And this sign is all whacked out. Its use of single quotes is as erratic as John McCain's campaign strategy. My guess is that someone here was smoking crack.

Thanks once again to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks for providing these little nuggets of punctuational joy.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Here's a photo taken by my friend, Janine Chiappa McKenna, around Washington, D.C.:

I'm not exactly sure why a refuse truck would have "Pimpin Aint Easy" on the back. But which is more disturbing: the words on the back of the truck or the fact that punctuation apparently eludes the owners? You decide.

Palling Around with Terrorists

I dedicate this Gallery entry to that fount of integrity, Sarah Palin:

Looks like her opponent isn't the only one "palling around with Terrorists." I wonder what kind of "extracurricular activities" the students at Kimball Elementary engage in? And just what kind of mascot is "terror"?

Thanks once again to loyal Gallery enthusiast, Dave Carvell, you found this sign while traveling in Kimball, West Virginia.

Friday, October 17, 2008

This One Is for Joe the Plumber

In the spirit of the recent, and final, presidential debate, I present to you something that Joe the Plumber may find amusing. This is a photo taken by a former student of mine, Martin Falatic, on a trip to Chicago. It's something that I had featured in the original Gallery of the Absurd:

It's kind of a grainy photo of a plumber's vehicle, but the telling slogan on the right side reads, "Your Hole Is Our Goal."

And speaking of holes...if McCain continues to refer to Joe the Plumber (who really isn't a plumber), I swear I'm going to want to ram something down his.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/13/08

I don't know, there's just something that is so happy and wholesome about this image that I find it extremely annoying. It's like the beautiful people are walking down the Yellow Brick Road. Either that or they're on their way to the teddy bears' picnic.

And by the way, check out the look on the face of the woman on the right. What's on her mind, I wonder?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sheer Terror

Here's something I received in the mail last week, bundled with other ads and flyers:

It's another gem from the Ashton-Drake Galleries, the same people who brought us "Heavenly Handfuls." My god, just look at this baby's face. Go ahead, take a closer look:

And what the hell is that M&M thing on its belly? Is this like the movie Alien? The horror...the horror....

Legitimate, Yet Weird

Here are a couple of product lines that, while from legitimate businesses, are nonetheless fun to laugh at:

"Bimbo," an apt name for a light, airy product.
Get hooked on Smack! Talk about creating a growing customer base.


Do you know of any other products, international or otherwise, whose names are "serious" but nonetheless funny? If so, send it to me at the Gallery of the Absurd. You'll find my contact email address in the column to the right.

Erection Fun

Several years ago, when the original Gallery of the Absurd was around, someone from California sent me this picture they had taken, and I since have forgotten who.

Pardon me this little bit of juvenile humor. I know that erection companies are legitimate businesses, but tell me, would you want to drive around in a truck with this sign on its side?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Holding Clown

This is a truly disturbing picture sent to me by AlwaysRightBoy (not his real name):
It's a sign near where he lives in Middletown, NJ. It's been there for years from when it was a Foodtown, he tells me, but it is now a liquor store. Take a closer look at this evil face:
I'm not sure which is more disturbing: the coupling of evil clowns and liquor, or the fact that this clown seems to be touching himself in an inappropriate place.

Balls Gro?

Here's another image sent to me by dedicated Gallery watcher, Dave Carvell.

I'm not sure I would want to shop there.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/6/08

I was out last week, so there was no Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of 9/27/08. So to make it up to you I'm giving you an Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week double shot!

Here are a couple of annoying ones for you:


What is it with this chick and her neck? Is the stupidly unnatural angle supposed to make you want to buy the clothes?
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