Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Inané

Reasons to Hate McDonald's

In the original Gallery of the Absurd, I had a feature section (along with the "Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week" and "Clowns are Scary" pages) called the "Arch Deluxe Hate Page," which later evolved into a more general anti-McDonald's section. It included links to a variety of McDonald's-oriented advertisements and signs, but what spawned the feature was the introduction of the Arch Deluxe burger. On the feature's opening page, I had stated the following:

What is going on here? I'm watching television, and I see Ronald McDonald in a series of "adult" situations (I'm sure the McD corporation could have taken this "adult" thing further). This is to announce a new food item geared toward a mature population. This is how the McDonald's FAQ site [link no longer available] describes this new monstrosity: "A quarter pound of beef, with lettuce pieces, tomatoes, cheese, onions, ketchup, and special 'Chef' or 'Arch' sauce which seems to be a mix of dijon mustard and mayonaisse [sic]. Also available with peppered bacon, this new sandwich is served on a 'bakery fresh' potato flour roll."

Does this sound like just another hamburger to you? Is this another attempt at foisting something akin to the imbecility of the "McDLT" on everyone? And just what is "Chef" sauce anyway? And why does the FAQ place "bakery fresh" in quotations? Does this satanic product announce the beginning of a new fascist (or Republican) regime?

Since I've brought the Gallery back as a blog, I haven't formalized any kind of anti-McDonald's feature (although I have included a number of McDonald's-related ads...see below). But recently, I've been seeing commercials for the new McCafé, and my reaction to these have been very similar to my reaction to the Arch Deluxe. So I think it's about time to bring back a popular feature of the original Gallery, one that generated a dedicated following as well as its share of hate mail. I'll call it "Reasons to Hate McDonald's."

And the first official entry in this feature is--you guessed it--ads for the new McCafé.
Now you don't have to go to Starbucks to be served by disgruntled and disaffected youth.

And here is the idiotic commercial they are airing right now:

Wow, an acute accent really can make a difference and change the way you see something. So I guess it's okay to call McDonald's new marketing ploy asininé, grotesqué, offensivé, laughablé, contemptiblé, execrablé, loathsomé, obscené, perversé, detestablé, and especially repulsivé.

By the way, here are some of the other McDonald's-related entries I've already posted in the Gallery of the Absurd:

If you find any annoying McDonald's ads, labels, or signs, send me an email and let me know about them. Your efforts and all-American diligence could be featured in this very gallery!

4 comments:

tantra flower said...

I fully support this feature. I never got over the whole kangaroo scandal from the '70s anyway.

chefann said...

I agree that the McCafé ads are beyond ridiculous.

But - I live in a test market for the drinks, so they've been around here for months, even though the official nation-wide roll-out was only about a month ago. And they're pretty good. And much less expensive than other coffee chains.

Which, unfortunately, means that the McCafé line is probably here to stay, and we'll have to put up with those ads for a long time.

Calicomama said...

Kangaroo scandal? As in, they used kangaroo meat in their burgers? Oh, the memory is coming back . . .

Brooke said...

Not that I'm defending McD's but you can get a Roo Pie in Australia. My uncle ordered one when I last visited and it was a little too gelatinous looking for me.

Changing LINKS