Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sticky Stalkin'

No Way! It's another installment of


More vintage fun for your Halloween enjoyment:
What the hell is that thing eating a Milky Way bar? Is it a tree? A stack of hay? The kid's goiter?

Much thanks to for providing today's treat (or trick).

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Beep Beep, Richie! They All Float Down Here.

Holy Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! It's time for another installment of


For this Halloween weekend, I thought it only appropriate to choose a truly frightening advertisement, this one from 1967:
What could be scarier than a clown? How about two clowns doing their ebony and ivory act?!

Pennywise, are you out there?

Friday, October 29, 2010

Miley Smiley

Here's something frightening for a Friday, and just in time for Halloween. I found this endcap display at a Walmart:

How do I find thee disturbing? Let me count the ways...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Please "Please" Me

Brian Donahue found this sign next to the door on his way into the Chair 5 restaurant in Girdwood, AK:

Respect begins with proper quotation usage...and knowing when not to underline words.

For more pure punctuation peevishness, check out the other entries in the special section, Don't "Quote" Me on That.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What Does She Smell Like?

Fun at parties!

Thanks to Moon and Mink for bringing this fragrant ad to my attention.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pork Party

Pork! The other party meat.

Much thanks to the Wirtes family, Kathy and Al, for alerting me to one of the lamest advertising campaigns, ever.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/25/10

Ring the bells, sing out the news! Here's the Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of October 25th:

If clothing makes them this excited, then perhaps they should expand their life-enhancing options.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Grease Paint and Nicotine

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, 'cause it's time for this week's


Since Halloween is fast approaching, I thought I'd present a scary retro ad for this weekend. And of course, nothing says scary like a clown-based advertisement:

If there were any questions about smoking being evil, I think this image puts those to rest.

Is it just me, or does this ad remind you of Jimmy Stewart's "Buttons" character in The Greatest Show on Earth?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Slouchy Grouchy

Here's another puzzling advertisement from the Harriet Carter catalog:

I know that many products tend to exaggerate their before and after examples, making the former much less attractive. But the before picture in this ad is painfully mobid. Not only does she look dramatically stooped, but it appears as if she needs a massive dosage of mood-enhancing drugs.

For more warm and steamy Harriet Carter goodness, check out the door clown and stupid cigar guy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Goodbye, Mr. C.

This is an advertisement that I originally posted back in April of last year. Then I had pointed out how Tom Bosley had gone from being Richie's Cunningham's father to helping out little old ladies at flea markets.

I'm reposting this in honor of the beloved television actor, who died today.
We'll miss you, Tom. You were loved!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/18/10

I present to you the Annoying J. Crew Model(s) for the week of October 18th.

This is from an older catalogue, something that I featured in the J. Crew specialty section of the original Gallery of the Absurd:
Apparently, the message here is that the clothes are so cool that you'll want to shake your booty.

What the hell is that guy doing in the bottom picture?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Good Vibrations

Sit back, relax, and call out your "special friend," because it's time for this week's


This is an advertisement for a "scientifically designed" vibrator for men with prostatitis.
From the looks of it, I would guess that the Dila-Therm is more of a gender-neutral device, something to be enjoyed by all.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Yes, We Can...Buy Kitsch!

Here's another monstrosity from the Ashton-Drake Galleries, this one an online ad for their Obama commemorative doll.

I wonder if Bill O'Reilly will buy one in preparation for November 2nd?

For more bold fresh pieces of Ashton-Drake, check out My Grandaughter, My Joy, Cute as a Button, Heavenly Handfuls, M&M Miniatures, Little Devil, and Claire.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Qualifying Side Dish

For those with an "interest" in "unique" Israeli "cuisine,", be sure to "pick up" a package of Osem "couscous."

As if the inappropriate use of quotation marks isn't troublesome enough, check out the mascot that appears on the official Osem website:

Looking at this freaky kid has me wanting to consume massive quantities of treif.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cock and Load

Cocks Unlimited.

'Nuf said.

Thanks again to Nick Zachariasen, South Dakotan extraordinaire.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Couch Colors, Pt. II

Here's another ad from an Aaron's Furniture flyer. Much like the one I posted a couple of months ago, they seem comfortable in "segregating" their furnishings: the zebra skin Barry White look for the black model, and the more conservative decor for the white one.

I wonder if Aaron's provides a free case of Colt 45 with the City Lights set? Given their apparent marketing strategy, I wouldn't doubt it.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Anal Retentive Fun

Dateline - Hartsville, South Carolina:

It seems like everyone is getting in on the angus/anus letter games. Check out last week's entry for the burger version.

Much thanks to Gallery fan, John ifs, ands, or butts.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/11/10

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of October 11th:

What's going on here? Looks like she's about to pee her pants...and whistling while doing so.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Do your sheets have that stiff, crackly feeling? If so, then it must be time for this week's


Here's an old Cannon advertisement:

I'm not sure if they were able to land Lucille Ball for this ad, or if their model was just hopped up on goofballs.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Gnome Job

Here at the Gallery of the Absurd, we're primarily interested not in strange products themselves, but the advertising and marketing that surround the products. Sometimes, however, an item comes along, without commercial context, that is just too good to pass up. This is such an item:

I'm not exactly sure what this rabbit is doing to the gnome--I'm not sure I want to know--but the expression on his face might be a clue.

And with this image in your head...have a happy Friday!

Thanks again to Nick Zachariasen for his steady stream of weirdness.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Brewmaster Sensitivity

One and you feel like you're in Germany...a few and you feel like invading Poland. Damn, I'd hate to think what you'd be wanting to do after an entire case.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Bike Excitement

Here's an old advertisement that someone had sent me for the original Gallery of the Absurd:
I sure hope that's a high-rise seat between his legs.

Much thanks to my ol' pal, Jackie Hanel Emerson, for her astutely nasty eye.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"Too" "Much" "Excitement"!


Looks like the guy who puts up the sign at Burger King had a little too much caffeine.

For more quotation quandaries and quackeries, be sure to check out the Don't "Quote" Me on That special section.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Apostrophe on Duty

A swimmer's guide to proper punctuation usage.

Thanks once again to Nick Zachariasen for his keen observational powers.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 10/4/10

Happy October! It's time for this month's first Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week!

Much like last week's entry, this one is another in an ongoing series of disturbingly thin female models.

Also, it seems like she's going for that young school girl look. Spooky!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Funny Juice

Sit down and pour yourself a tall kool one, because it's time for this week's


Submitted for your approval: a vintage Kook-Aid advertisement.

As if the sweaty, smiling pitcher guy wasn't disturbing enough, they had to insert a clown into the picture. When you feel the need to insert clowns, just go ahead and kill yourself.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Unique Bingo

When in Albuquerque, NM, be sure to visit Ray's Unique Bingo Supplies.

Something for even the most finicky assisted living resident.

Changing LINKS