Thursday, December 16, 2010

Oh Come All Ye Painful

Today's treat is definitely candy-related. I was in the grocery store this afternoon, and I happened to drift down the holiday aisle. There, all clumped together like crack whores on the make, stood a variety of Christmas candy. Much of it was Santa-related, and here is where the real terror begins. Let's take a look, shall we?

This one reminds me of something that might appear in an old Merrie Melodies cartoon. And as such, I'm afraid he might come alive when I'm asleep and stab me, or something. (And is that really a candy cane he's holding in his hand?)

These "Crisp Kringles" are even more creepy. They seem like figures who appear to you in that twilight zone between sleep and wakefulness...and all packaged together. The eyes are really spooky. And the fact that they aren't looking directly at you makes them even more disturbing.

This one just looks like a drunk uncle. Be careful what he holds out to you in his hand.


What creeps me out about this Russell Stover Santa are his goiter-like cheeks. I imagine him having a voice like that freaky Tangina character in Poltergeist. And it would be the last thing you'd hear before he "stuffed your stocking."

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