Sunday, February 28, 2010

Open Up

Here's a picture of a sign someone sent me several years ago. I've since lost the information surrounding this image, so I'm not sure where it was taken. But I think enjoyment can be had even without any context.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Inky Dinky Do

Here is a logo for Inky the Clown, apparently the top grease-painted entertainer in Mississippi:
I could make a joke about Mississippi and it's historical clownishness when it comes to social issues, but I don't want to anger any Southern fans of the Gallery.

Make sure you visit the official website of Inky. It is indeed professionally done.



Friday, February 26, 2010

Coco for Cutieness

Here's a painted sign from cafe in Albuquerque, NM. There's nothing wrong with providing free coco...it's just that the snowman is a little too sickenly sweet. Is this Casper the Friendly Ghost?

By the way, they love the trolley.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Frozen Fright

I was in a Walmart several weeks and found this standee outside of their deli:
The sheer fear this instilled in me cannot be expressed in words.

Go ahead, take a closer look....a closer look!


The horror....the horror....

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bleach is Verboten!

When in Dublin, Ireland, be sure to drop off your laundry at the Swastika Laundry Ltd (founded in 1912). Just don't ask about the kind of workers they have "encamped" in the back.

When I ran the original Gallery of the Absurd, someone sent me this photograph that they had taken while in Dublin. But that was a number of years ago, and I have since lost this person's name. If you are out there and reading, dear Gallery fan, thank you for the entry.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/22/10

The J. Crew Annoying Model for the week of February 22nd:


Here is another in a series J. Crew "head shots" I'm posting over the next few weeks, where models are holding their heads in weird and/or unnatural positions. Is this woman's hat about to come off? Is she massaging the back of her head?


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Clean Dirt

Not sure what to make of this sign. It perplexes me.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Building a Better Banana...Today!

In the great Gallery tradition of stupid banana labels--see entries for 5 January 2010, 8 November 2009, 18 September 2008, 24 July 2008, and 7 July 2008--here's today's entry, two stickers that were on a bunch of bananas I recently bought:

"Build your own banana"? Not sure what that means, but it leaves me with an icky feeling.

And what's with the weird face?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Pigman

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a weird advertisement that appeared on my Facebook profile page. I thought that was freaky-looking, but this "Recession Relief" ad featuring a pigman out freaks the earlier one:

As I commented on the man-child ad, what the hell is this all about?!

I'm reminded of "The Bris" episode of Seinfeld, where Kramer encounters a pigman. But at least that pigman had something to do with the overall narrative.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/15/10

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 15th:


This is the first in a series of strange "head shots" that I'll post over the next few weeks. Notice the way this model is holding her head...literally. Is she trying to keep her hat on? Does she have a headache? Is she having a goofy "ah ha!" moment and smacking her noggin in wonderment? Is her head wobbly and about to fall off? Is she finally realizing the emptiness within?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Creamland

I'm in Albuquerque, NM, right now for a conference. While at the conference, I saw this truck.

Creamland. Go ahead and say it. Creamland.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Stop Shopping


Wow...they do everything.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Being Possessive

An apostrophe is a terrible thing to waste.


Much thanks to the Website, Apostrophe Catastrophes, for providing today's Gallery entry.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/8/10

Here's your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 8th.


Boy, look at all of the action. They're really modeling excitement in catching that bouquet.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Creepy Jack

This ad was in one of the freebie weekly flyers we get in the mail. I'm sure most of you have seen the Magic Jack commercials on television.
I never realized it until I received this flyer, but the Magic Jack dude is a little creepy-looking.


Saturday, February 6, 2010

Mummy Man, Pt. Deux

Last week I featured an animated ad for regiMEN anti-aging skincare formula for men. As you can see, they doctored the flash file to make the "before" image look not only old, but downright mummified. This morning when checking my Yahoo mail, I saw another regiMEN ad, this one weirder and more ridiculous than the first:

Subtlety is what they were shooting for here, I do believe.

One Bad Mother

A delectable treat from the Japanese company, Lotte:

Maybe I'm being too Freudian here, but I'm not sure I want to put anything called "Mother" into my mouth.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Free Bonus Massager

Here's another gem from the Dr. Leonard's, supposedly "America's Leading Discount Healthcare Catalog." Last week I featured the Activ-otc Power Strips, and now we have another vital healthcare item:

Sex tapes and a dildo. Just what grandma needs to ensure her good health and mobility.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

There's No Town Like Clown Town

Back in December, I posted a photograph of a sign for Clown Town Children's Center in Spokane, WA. But it seems that there are other Clown Towns we need to be aware of. Here's a poster for a comedy improve performed at the Steve Allen Theater in Los Angeles:

I'm not sure if the thing in this poster is actually a clown. Looks more like a turd with a cowboy hat.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

National "Security"

Here's another curious use of quotation marks, perfect for the Don't "Quote" Me on That section of the Gallery:

I'm traveling today, and this sign doesn't do much for my peace of mind.

Thanks to the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, where I found this image.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Jesus H. Cholesterol

It's difficult to put into words the sheer horror of Ronald McDonald, especially one that talks. But Gallery fan Nick Zachariasen does a good job of describing this phenomenon. Last month he visited a McDonald's in Mitchell, SD.
Here is what Nick says about his experience:

"Sitting down to what at that den of gastronomic perfidy passes for breakfast, I was subjected to a horror even worse than the dryness of a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. I’ve not seen a display like this in any other McDonald’s that I can recall. They’re out of frame, but this setup has a stereo set of speakers mounted from the ceiling. Yes, this Ronald talks. It not only talks, but sings. While holding the Happy Meal characters, it delivered a song about hiking in the woods with them and encountering a bear. It also extolled the virtues of making sure you bring along a good meal of McDonald’s 'food' to sustain you.
"This singing statue was enough to creep even me out, and I like scary clowns. For me, much of the reason I find clowns funny is precisely because other people find them scary. This, though, actually made me uneasy, and that is no mean feat. This came about mainly because of the face and build. This thing looks like a greasepainted Thai ladyboy dolled up as one of the West’s most adored (for whatever misguided reason) corporate mascots. Adding to the effect were the sun coming up in the horizon behind it and its upward gaze as it held its resin apostles, making it look like some sort of Messiah of trans fats— Jesus H. Cholesterol, if you will— saying 'suffer the little Fry Kids to come unto you, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of a heart surgeon.'"

Thank you, Nick. A truly frightening way for us to start our day, wouldn't you agree?

Monday, February 1, 2010

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/1/10

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 1, 2010:

I'm not a violent person, but this is another stupid J. Crew pose that just makes me want to slap the model.

Changing LINKS