Monday, February 28, 2011

Earl Workout

I was in Walmart this morning and came across this sign in the sporting goods section:
It struck me that this guy looks likes he's got an upset stomach and is about to hurl.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/28/11

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 28th:


What's the deal with the hair sticking up in back? Is she going for the look of Brendan from Home Movies?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Silly Soup

Homey and nourishing for your tummy, it's time for another installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Today I had homemade soup for lunch, so why not counterbalance that with this vintage Campbell's advertisement:

The most surreal part of this ad is the poem in the lower right corner:

I'm sorry for my dolly,
She's as hungry as can be;
Inside of her is sawdust--
But good soup's inside of me!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

If at First You Don't Succeed...



And be sure to "pay" as you leave the store.

Thanks again to the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, a comrade in highlighting cultural stupidity.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

McIndian McFaces

Here's a screenshot from a McDonald's site in India:

I don't know what to make of the message on the right: "I put a smile on little one's faces." First off, there is the obvious apostrophe problem. Does this speaker have multiple kids and just screw up the possessive, or does the "little one" have multiple faces? (The latter would make sense, mutatively speaking, given the kind of stuff McD's puts into their food.) Second, why use the first person? Wouldn't the ad be more effective as a directive, telling you to put a smile on a little one's face (or faces)? As it's written, it reads like some kind of poorly worded lame reportage.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dirty Faith



Not for those filthy infidels!

Monday, February 21, 2011

I'm Too Sexy for My Country

Special for President's Day, something that I featured in the original Gallery back in 1999:

What's next? Washington crossing the Delaware in a thong?

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/21/11

Lights, camera, action! It's time for this week's Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week.

Here is another in J. Crew's recent "Hollywood Issue," where models are trying to look hip and all involved in the movie industry:

Matchstick jeans to go with their matchstick models, and whose personalities are probably as thin.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Weird Baby Crap

Commercials using computer enhancement on both animals and babies really, really irritate me. Over the years they've progressed from clever (if they ever were), to "cute," to I-want-to-stick-a-pencil-into-my-eyeball annoying. The latest E-Trade commercial has now gone the extra mile:
In addition to its insensitivity to other cultures, this one has entered the territory of Michael Jackson-level creepiness.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Funny Scoop

Both with and without sprinkles, it's time for a big ol' scoop of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

To complement yesterday's disturbing Dairy King clown, today's entry is a 1950s Dairy Queen sign:

This sign is less creepy than yesterday's, but there's still something about it that bothers me. Is that the clown's own hand on the lower right, pointing to the restaurant name? If so, he has an abnormally long arm. If it isn't....well, I don't even want to think about that possibility.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Clown Cream

It's Friday, and what better way to bring in the weekend than another scary clown image!

This is the sign of Angie's Dairy King in Richmond, Missouri:

There's something about the placement of the ice cream on the clown, its angle, and the red tip that really bother me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Taxing the Elderly

I was checking my Yahoo mail account the other day, and this advertisement splashed on my screen:
I'm not sure what it is about the crinkly faced, possibly toothless, elderly that marketing folk see as potentially profitable. A closer look will give you the fantods:

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

McOats

Yesterday we received this eye-opening flyer in the mail:

"So delicious it makes all other oatmeal taste like, well, oatmeal." Wow!! Oatmeal with fruit and maple! What a revolutionary concept! Why hasn't anyone thought of this sooner?!

Still one more in a seemingly endless series of Reasons to Hate McDonald's.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Clown High

Here's a sign found at the Nottingham Riverside Festival in the UK:

This creeps me out on so many levels, I'm not sure where to begin.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Gifts for the "Man" in You



The Gents Place: Timidity when using apostrophes, brashness in utilizing quotation marks.

Insert Comment Here

For your Valentine's Day enjoyment, an advertisement from the Belgian couture company, Natan:

Opening up your heart is one thing, but this....

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/14/11

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 14th:

This Valentine's Day, tell her that you love her by giving the very best...

...a red nightie that helps you to levitate off the ground.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Your Mother Should Know

Party down, and tell your mommy, it's time for this week's

RETRO-ADTIVITY

An advertisement for the now defunct company, Fashion Wagon, part of the Minnesota Woolen Company, Inc. Its intention is to get young people to host gatherings where the Fashion Wagon clothing will be sold.
The thing that gets me about this ad is the look of the teenage girl. That kind of mischievous expression and references to parties "mother never told you about" makes this seem like some kind of sordid 1960s affair. It's like she's not only going to run out and read Portnoy's Complaint, but get a banana and act like Mary Jane Reed.

Much thanks--again--to Al Wirtes, for his keen fashion sense.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Redneck Gun Phun

Here's a sign found at a strip mall in Bellingham, WA:
Outside of the incongruity with the mascot standing underneath--is it a gorilla? Sasquatch? Chewbacca?--the thing that gets me about the sign is its top message: "Get them before he does." Who is "he" in this message? Is it the hairy dude standing underneath? Or, with the gorilla/monkey reference, might this sign refer to a particular person in a position of power who is currently demonized by the redneck, racist right? Think about it, won't you?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

ZhuZhu Hell

My daughter was watching cartoons last weekend, and this came on:
I'm not sure why, but there's something about this commercial that disturbs me.

Actually, there's something about the whole ZhuZhu phenomenon that makes me uneasy. It strikes me as an "adorable" inroad to total and irrevocable world domination.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Mouthing Off

Here's the sign of the Dairy Treat restaurant in Nashua, Iowa:

I can't figure out where this guy's mouth is. Is it the blue bracket-looking thing directly under his nose, or is it the yellow rectangle where his chin should be? Enquiring minds want to know!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Your Getting Warmer

An advertisement for the Gyle Shopping Centre in Edinburgh:

I guess none of the shops there specialize in contractions.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Laugh Tracks

Let's start off the week with another clown image:
This one is brought to you by Gallery godfather, Brian Donahue.

Childhood can indeed be a scary place.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/7/11

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 7th:

Here's something from their latest catalog, which they're calling "The Hollywood Issue":

I guess, since it's Oscar month, this model wanted to strike a faux dramatic pose. There's nothing faux about the annoyance this generates.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Plump and Juicy

Filled with plump, bouncy goodness, here's this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

An advertisement from the 1890s that should tell you something about how radically our understanding of healthy body images has changed:

It's moments like this that make me think the people in the nineteenth century were a tad more civilized than we are today.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy New Beer

Yesterday ushered in the Chinese New Year, so here's a Carlsberg advertisement to celebrate:

I'm not entirely sure what the connection is between a Danish beer and the Chinese New Year. Also, is that guy in the ad supposed to be Danish? Chinese? Actually, it looks more like an Amish dude with a Chairman Mao hat.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Taco High

I saw this Jack in the Box commercial the other day:
So what is the deal with this guy? He's incoherent, his speech is halting, he's apparently got the munchies, and he's trying to communicate with inanimate objects. I realize that Jack in the Box has subtly been changing its marketing strategy, but is it now going for the druggie market?

Slap Happy Addict

I'm all for helping those with addictive diseases, in whatever ways possible...

...but is slapping your loved one in front of millions of readers the way to encourage positive behavioral change?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Clown Scam

Here is a series of posters warning people of phone scams. It's the one in the middle that caught my attention. The clown guy is someone claiming to be a friend of the person he's calling.

Further evidence that clowns are not what they appear to be.

For more greasepaint horrors, be sure to check the other entries in the Clowns Are Scary section.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Breakfast Love

I was in a Denny's the other week, and at the cash register I saw this sign:

I'm not sure what "breakfast love" is. Is the yoke runny? Does it come with a short stack? Is coffee included? And I'm even more clueless on how to distinguish real breakfast love. I wouldn't want to share anything bogus.

Changing LINKS