Saturday, July 30, 2011

Sharp Kid

With wit as sharp as a razor, it has to be this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

What a great message this is sending: babies plus sharp instruments equals big sales.

This looks disturbingly like the freaky baby in last week's Retro-Adtivity entry.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Sleep Cleavage

Another one of the seemingly endless incongruous ads that pop up on the Web:

What does an image of a woman in a bathing suit displaying her cleavage have to do with sleep therapy? Is this supposed to be something like counting sheep?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Target: Space Cadets

I was in a Target the other day and saw these signs in the pharmacy area:


I know they're supposed to generate feelings of friendliness and competency, but these images sort of creeped me out. The way they're looking off to the side of the camera is rather disturbing. It's like they refuse to acknowledge your presence. And the smiles on their faces. What's up with that? They look like space cadets, like there's nothing much going on inside their heads. Either that or they've been partaking of some of the little pills they keep behind the counter. Would you want these people to fill your prescriptions?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 7/25/11

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of July 25th.

From the J. Crew website, the image that comes up on their "Sign up" page:

What is it about J. Crew models that makes you just want to slap them?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Doped Up on 7Up

Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! It's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY


What to say about this old advertisement. First, why would you feed a baby a sugary soft drink, especially something like 7Up? Also, notice the expression on that kid's face. Looks like he's doped up, which makes me wonder what's really in the bottle.

Is it just me, or does that baby's face remind me of Buddy Hackett?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Nowhere Gas

A sign found at a Valero gas station in Kearney, NE:

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Lindt Freak

Today's entry in the Gallery of the Absurd is brought to you by Brian Donahue, a man who's been there from the very beginning:


Just look at the expression on this freak's face. As Brian points out, we should definitely be worried about his "craft" and the kind of "love and passion" he brings to his work.

I ain't eating that chocolate.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Quick Christian Lube

Here's a sign spotted in Greenville, TX:

I've got to check out this worship service. If part of their "fellowship" includes lube and "express care," then I might just need to rethink my aversion to organized religion.

Monday, July 18, 2011

All We Are Saying Is Give Poop a Chance

A juvenile humor treasure trove, brought to you by the good people at Pedia-Lax.

Much thanks, once again, to Al and Kathy Wirtes for their ongoing efforts in providing the Gallery with the straight poop!

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 7/18/11

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of July 18th:


I'm not sure what to say about this image, other than reference the word "dork."

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Helmet Hair

Coiffed for your weekend enjoyment, it's time for another episode in the saga of

RETRO-ADTIVITY


I know that hair styles from the 1970s is too easy of a target, but I just couldn't resist.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Coffee, Tea, or Coffee Tea

I got this packet of tea in one of the hotels I've stayed in recently:

With its company name on the cover, this packet sends confusing messages and, for some, won't make much sense. Kind of like what's going on politically with the teabaggers, wouldn't you say?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Buxomness Is All in the Eye of the Beholder

Here's an ad that turned up recently on on this blog (one of our AdSense advertisers):

I wasn't aware "buxom" was an appropriate adjective for lashes...that is, unless your eyeballs are plump, curvaceous, and full-bosomed.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Natural "Purity"

Last week I featured a grammatically challenged sign on water processing provided by Gallery chum and South Dakota enthusiast, Nick Zachariasen. Here's another water-related entry:


Kind of makes you wonder about the quality of water they have in South Dakota.

For more "quote, unquote" absurdities, be sure to check out the Gallery special feature, Don't "Quote" Me on That. You'll be glad you did.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Spank Me, Spank Me, Make Me Get Cancer

Oh, those wacky Germans and their smoking. What kind of kinky, regimented mayhem will they get into next?

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 7/11/11

Coming at you slim and flimsy, it's the Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of July 11th:


Another in a seemingly endless array of emaciated J. Crew models. Just look at her stick arms! What kind of message is this sending?

For a more healthy sense of female body image, be sure to visit the website About-Face.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

What a Douche

Germ-free on contact, it's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Here's an old Lysol advertisement from the 1950s:
Lysol...fighting bad breath in more ways than one!


Friday, July 8, 2011

Sweet Trojan Blow

A ridiculous commercial for, of all things, a vibrator:
What's next, dildos advertised on the Cartoon Network?

Notice in particular the "Sweet!" guy 52 seconds into the commercial. What's he so happy about? Doesn't he realize that his services are now being outsourced?

Kitty Colon

Today's Gallery entry is dedicated to my good friend, Tracey McHenry:


Hello Kitty and a food item whose name is visually similar to that of a part of the large intestine. It doesn't get any better than that.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Amazing "Benefits"

Since I'm getting ready to move to Nebraska, it's only appropriate that I include an notice from the Omaha Public Power District:


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Orgasmic Greetings

This billboard was just recently put up along Highway 24/50, as you're coming from the south into Commerce, TX. It greets you as you come into the town:
What a frightening image to welcome visitors.
I'm not sure if her orgasmic expression is due to her new bank card--which would be weird, given that it's just a bank card--or if she just sat on something that is giving her an unexpected thrill.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Of Bacteria and Adjectival Incompleteness

Today's Gallery entry is provided by Nick Zachariasen, who proves once again that the Midwest can be a wondrous and whimsical place to live.


I'm on pins and needles waiting for the last part of this sign, wondering what is actually being treated.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 7/4/11

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of July 4th:


At J. Crew, every model is a happy model! They just can't help jumping for joy!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Let Freedom Clown

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY
from the Gallery of the Absurd!


July 4th and clowns. Two tastes that go great together.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Bang Bang

Patriotism means shooting off loud incendiary devices that go bang!--and of course, glorifying the use of guns and egregiously misrepresenting history. That's the message you can take away from this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Below is a small collection of cards and stamps from early in the 20th century. Technically they're not advertisements--at least, they aren't advertising a specific consumable product--but in a way, I guess you could look at them as advertising an idea.

The first is a vintage image of a young boy's big head surrounded by ignited firecrackers. I'm sure this is a message that every loving parent wants to send.

I find this stamp curious. The kid is asking you to "go off" with him, and notice the angle at which he's holding that long red phallic object. Hmmmm......

Apparently, this is what celebrating in America is all about: running around like a crazy person shooting your gun and blowing up things, all the while waving a flag to glorify your nationhood. All that is missing is Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA."


Finally, this image of Uncle Sam really disturbs me. It's not so much that he's waving around a firecracker, but it's the crazed look on his face as he does so. It makes you wonder who the real terrorist may be.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Adorable, Magical Petunia

It's Friday, and what better way to start off the holiday weekend than with a clown-related entry!


Be sure to contact her, and make your July 4th celebration as whimsical and as enchanting as the look on Petunia's face.

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