Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Holiday Chuckles

This large banner is still being displayed at the Stage Coach Gift Shop here in Kearney, NE:

I get how they're going for the whole scary clown thing. A good chunk of the Gallery is built upon this premise. But this is an sign for Halloween, and we're into the Christmas season. Isn't there someone at the store who checks out the parking lot on a regular basis?

Besides, I never thought of a frontier-based gift shop as a place where one would find anything like a "Halloween Headquarters."

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Bonobos Bimbo

Over the weekend I found this advertisement on some website (can't remember which one):

What is this guy doing? Is he being hit with a bullet on his left shoulder? What's with the dipshit look on his face? Did he swallow something sour? "Betterfit"...looks like this dude is having some sort of fit.

Is Bonobos trying to compete with J. Crew when it comes to the annoying factor?

Monday, November 28, 2011

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 11/28/11

It's time for the Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of November 28th!

I've noted before on the Gallery how shameless J. Crew is when it comes to exploiting the "cuteness" of children to sell clothes. This holiday season is no different:

Just take a close look at the Santa-boy:

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if we should feel sorry for this kid or if he just deserves to be slapped upside the head.

J. Crew, helping you to hate the holidays since 1983.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Still More Black Friday Crap

As we're coming out the other side of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, here is yet another annoying Target Black Friday commercial, this one from last year:
I'm sure Maria Bamford is a smart cookie. But does she really want to bank her future career on continuing to be the psychotic Target Lady, hawking the message that the holidays are all about obsessively crazy shopping? It would be different if there was a modicum of tangible irony here, but given Target's larger mission, that particular undercurrent seems lost.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Smoked Turkey

Light up those Thanksgiving leftovers, it's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Last week I featured an old Lucky Strikes advertisement that combined Thanksgiving and smoking...which, I guess, in the 1950s, were two tastes that go great together. But the good people at Camel were apparently also on the same page:
And remember, it's all for the peaceful feeling that comes from good digestion.

Friday, November 25, 2011

More Black Friday Pablum

One in an apparently endless and mind-numbing series of annoying holiday commercials brought to you by the people at Target.
So what's the message here: hackneyed, sleazy pop singers in slutty nurse uniforms are supposed to make us go out and shop on Black Friday?

Does anything about this commercial make any kind of sense in terms of the holidays?

Black Friday Stripper

Joy. It's the day after Thanksgiving, what all the marketing, merchandising, and media folk like to dub "Black Friday," a name of questionable implications and designed to stick in your head and make you feel you have to go out and spend money.

Here's a Nine West ad from last year:

So what is the message here? That buying shoes is more important than putting food on your table? That the holiday season is all about sex and spending money? That what's behind door number three is a fashion miasma with no other purpose than to consume your attention? That what is really important are parts of a woman, not the whole person? That cheap-looking bras Photoshopped on an ad will bring in more customers?

Is it any wonder so many people get depressed during the holiday season?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING
from the Gallery of the Absurd!


Your place for weird-looking things 'n' stuff!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Giving Thanks to Hip Hop

Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and along with it, the usual batch of stupid holiday crap.

Here's an advertisement from last year:

Because nothing says "Thanksgiving" more than Ludacris and Big Boi.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Boldly Becoming a Senior

Last month I was in Bethlehem, PA, and there I found this poster outside of the local Social Security office:

Okay, George Takei, I understand. But Patty Duke in a Starfleet uniform? What's up with that?

You know...even the George Takei part is just plain embarrassing.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 11/21/11

In all of it's gut-wrenching glory, it's time for the
Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week!

What is it about this image that just annoys the hell out of me?

Can you have me figure it out?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Funny Colon

I'm sure many of you have seen those commercials for Phillip's Colon Health with the "Colon Lady." Here's one of the latest manifestations of this marketing campaign:
What's so weird about this commercial isn't so much the fact that a woman is talking about colon medication at a wedding--strange enough as that might be--as it is the shots of the middle-aged woman sitting at the table, nodding her head, and smiling as she listens along.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Nicotine Stuffing

We're about to enter the holiday season, so smoke 'em if you got 'em, because it's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Nothing says "Thanksgiving" like a pack of cigs.

Wonder what this woman uses in the stuffing?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Safety, Ronald, and You

I saw this sign outside of a McDonald's in North Platte, Nebraska:


As with many things relating to McD's, there's something about this image that makes me uncomfortable, but I'm not entirely certain what it is. Is it Ronald's face? The slogan that we should "make it click" with him? The big iconic "M" that is about where Ronald's groin area would be? The fact that safety is being associated with a clown?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wrestling the Clown in You

Friend of the Gallery, Al Wirtes, sent in this ad for an event at the Broomfield Auditorium:


I understand that this is supposed to be a Lucha libre, but to me he looks more like a clown...a clown riding a weird piƱata-looking thing.

Bet that LEGO-themed music was awesome!

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 11/14/11

The Gallery of the Absurd has been on a hiatus for the past month. But now that the holiday season is upon us--and all the weirdness the holidays bring--it's time to get back into the swing of things. So let's get things going again with the Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of November 14th, shall we?

This week's Annoying J. Crew Model is...well, the whole crew. This is the cover of the latest J. Crew catalog:

All of those clean-cut smiling white-bread faces (no color in the group at all). What an annoying way to begin the holidays...and from the Italian Alps, no less. Not part of the 99%, I assume.

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