Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Rear Servicing

The juvenile side of me won out for today's Gallery posting:

Heh heh..."service at rear"...heh heh...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Your Mint Hole

From a box of Altoids:

There's something about opening your "mint hole" that seems a little strange. I wonder how this would fit into the context of yesterday's posting?

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Beauty of Colon Therapy

My good friend, Jane Patton Joyner, found this on a trip through the eastern part of North Carolina:

As if the "Colon Therapy" sign wasn't enough to get your business, this place also has a beauty salon. They make sure you look at both ends.

Is it just me, or do the images of the hair dryer and the scissors in this context leave you a little uneasy? And what the hell is that thing on the left side of the building?

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/27/12

Dancing its way into your heart, it's time for this week's Annoying J. Crew Model!


Wow. J. Crew models are really, really hip.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Trix Zombie

Silly rabbit, it's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Even five-year-old young zombies need a bowlful of fruit-color, fruit-flavor Trix to change their morning outlook from grim to gay.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Dick Cleaning

Gallery watcher, Dave Carvell, submitted this little tidbit:

There's nothing I could say to adequately supplement this image.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"Fun" Clown

As if clowns weren't scary enough, here's an advertisement that uses quotes to take the fear factor to a whole new level:


Much "thanks" to The "Blog: of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks for providing today's foray into the heart of darkness.

For more disturbing clown-related ads, be sure to check out the Gallery's specialty section, "Clowns Are Scary."

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Jonesing for a Danger Dog

I found this advertising board at a local gas station. The insurance agency is next door to Sinclair, but from the looks of the sign it appears that the agency, not the Sinclair station, offers great deals in fast food.

I'm not sure what a "footlong danger dog" is, but it disturbs me just thinking about it.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Family Rearing

I usually make it a point not to repost any material that has been making the rounds of the Internet, but this time I just have to make an exception. A sign found at the Northampton (UK) General Hospital:

This has been posted so many places, I won't even begin to provide credits and hyperlinks. Do your own Google search.

If you liked this, then check out similar posts on eBaum's World.

We'll get more original tomorrow, I promise.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/20/12

Your Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of February 20th:

I'm not a violent man, by any stretch of the imagination...

...but there's something about this annoyingly colored socks dude that makes me want to whack him upside his head.
Then again, I'd probably mess up that carefully sculpted "rumpled look" hair style, wouldn't I?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Pedophile-Endorsed Hair Products

Sleaziness in advertising never had it so good, because it's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

From the fine, upstanding folk at the Love's Baby Soft company:
What the hell were these people thinking?!!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Perfecting You're Grammar

Gallery sleuth, Nick Zachariasen, recently found this sign at a church in South Sioux City, Nebraska:

I'd really like to think that the person who put up the letters on this sign was being ironic. I'd really like to think that Pastor Roach has a wonderful sense of humor and approved of this (intentional?) error in grammar. I'd really like to think that the parishioners of the River Hills Church will immediately get the "joke" and yuck it up when they see the sign.

Am I living in dreamland?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

What do you mean funny? Funny how?

Here's an auto mechanic shop not far from where I live:

Given the name of the business, I wonder if they take the phrase "body shop" literally.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Clean Unseen

I've posted on the strangeness of the Charmin bears before (citing a commercial from 2010, one that the original YouTube poster had since taken down...the bastard!). And there's a reason that I include them in The Gallery of the Absurd. Take a look at this:

Let's think about this for a minute: "For a Clean You Will Notice." What exactly does that imply about awareness and dingleberries?

Much thanks to Mike, a fan of the Gallery, for sharing this bear-butted bit of bewilderment.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Dish Spot

I received this flyer in the mail the other day:

On the surface it doesn't appear weird or suspect, but look closely and ask yourself this: what is it about the spot or splash image (surrounding the price) that makes it appropriate to this particular ad?

Think about it, won't you?

Monday, February 13, 2012

Wild Wayne Game

My god, there are so many things wrong and/or disturbing about this sign for the Baptist Temple's upcoming Wild Game Supper:

  1. The bullet hole images that populate the sign. Guess this kind of advertisement would be difficult to account for in places like Columbine and Virginia Tech.
  2. For their Wild Game Taste Contest, note the sell: "If you shot it, caught it, or trapped it, cook it and bring it - We'll eat it!"
  3. Dr. Gene Howard, professional John Wayne impersonator. Ah, there's nothing like toting a rifle and exploiting the image of a dead man to get your mouth all watering.
  4. The fact that they capitalized the "I" in "impersonator."
  5. It's understandable that the Wayne impersonator would be on the Sean Hannity Show, but Good Morning, America?
  6. And perhaps most disturbing of all: this event is sponsored by a church group. Thank you, Baptist Temple, for showing us all the meaning of Christ's nonviolent gospel.
Oh well, it could be worse. The top door prize could be an AK-47, and they could have a Chuck Norris impersonator.

Much thanks, once again, to Bill Elliott for his sharp(shooting) eye.

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 2/13/12

After a week off, let's get back to business...and what better way to begin the week than with
an Annoying J. Crew Model?!

Here's the one for the week of February 13th:

I have no idea what the hell she's doing, but it just might have something to do with needing to use the bathroom.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Nothin' Says Lovin...

It's time for this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY

and chauvinism has never been so wacky!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Howdy Neighbo Rs

Here's something my good friend, Randy Crain, sent in:

I'm not sure what bothers me more, their unbridled enthusiasm for the Wienermobile or their inability to layout a simple text-based sign.

Changing LINKS