Saturday, September 29, 2012

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Guaranteed to scare the shit out of you, it's time for this week's installment of  

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Here is an old poster advertising the Cirque d'Hiver de Paris, one of the oldest circuses around:  


I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!  I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Things

Here is something that Gallery watcher, Carla Mowell, recently found in South Dallas:  


If a restaurant describes part of their cuisine using the highly suspect designation, "things," then perhaps you shouldn't be eating there.

Be sure to check out more of Carla's photography on her Flickr site.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Gland Error

Another in a never-ending series of web-based ads that use obvious boob shots to hawk completely unrelated and suspect wares:  


Given the obvious intentions behind this ad, it appears that she's checking the wrong glands.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Free Qoutes


Too bad they don't provide fast and free spell checking.

For today's image, much thanks to the good folks at Tour de Hood, a blog devoted to the "insane glory" of the Detroit streets.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 9/24/12

The Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of September 24th:


Come on, dude, straighten your damn tie!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Homey Don't Eat That

It's time for that Big Mac of ad mocking, that Quarter Pounder of sign ridicule, that McRib of label lamenting, that Chicken McNugget of marketing faux pas...in other words, it's time for this week's installment of 

RETRO-ADTIVITY

On Friday I featured a poorly designed brochure I found at a local McDonald's.  So in keeping with that theme, this week's Retro-Adtivity entry focuses on the many wonderful cuisine and health options that McDonald's has brought to our African American population.  Here are some ads from the 1970s:   


1975

1976

1976

1977

High fat and low quality foods for a targeted ethnic population.  Who says American corporations aren't looking out for our best interests?

Friday, September 21, 2012

Birthday (wait for it...wait for it...) Party

I found this brochure someplace recently.  I can't remember where.  Perhaps I've unconsciously forced myself to just forget.  The image just really depresses me.


Man, this is bad.  The image of Ronald is embarrassingly poor, and the layout just sucks.  Why is the word "party" set off so far below "birthday"?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Getting "Crabs"

Once again, Gallery fan Mike H. comes through with another contribution.  This is a bag of chips he found while at work:


I think we can all sympathize with Mike as we ponder this nagging question: Why the quotes?   

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Klum Kids

The other day I got this flyer in my mail:  


I didn't think Heidi Klum was the kind of celebrity who would peddle kids' clothes.  When it comes to her shilling, and especially when it is associated with the word "scrumptious," I thought this was more Klum's style:


I guess she could argue that there is a direct link between her breasts and the beneficence of kids.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 9/17/12

It's time for this week's Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week!

Last week I featured a blast from the past, a J. Crew annoying model that appeared in the original Gallery of the Absurd back in the late 1990s.  So let's take a look at another J. Crew model from that time, this one apparently hopped up on goof balls and thinking that she can fly:  


Have things at J. Crew really changed over the past 15 years?

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Riverside Park Horrors

Quit the funny business, it's time for this week's installment of    

RETRO-ADTIVITY

An old ad for Riverside Park, in Massachusetts, which is now a Six Flags:  



As you might expect, there's something a bit unseemly about this clown with the two little girls.


Friday, September 14, 2012

Stop on Pop

Summer has come to an end, and with it many of the ads and sales promos typifying the season.  Here is one such promotion I found recently in a local Walmart:  


Is this image supposed to be cute and/or fun?  I found this kid with the big open mouth really annoying.  And what the hell does fun taste like, anyhow?


As if the annoying kid wasn't enough, this is the Fun Pops mascot.  Look at this dude's eyes.  Is it just me, or does he look really spaced out and high?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Striking "Golds"

Here's the sign of a gold dealer not too far from where I live:




















When I first saw this sign, it threw me into a multi-leveled quandary.  I can understand the "$" coming after the "U", since the "us" is obviously linked to the money-related aspect of the business.  But why use the first "$" with "gold"?  Do these people--or perhaps I should say "peoples"--usually use the plural for gold in this way?  And why does the "R" have double quotes around it?  Are they trying too much to reference "Toys 'R' Us", which has the double quotes around their backward and child-like "R"?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Am I Bleu?

Lately I've been posting pictures of some irritating billboards that litter my drive to work on the Dallas North Tollway.  I've been scared shitless by the Asphalt Clown, and left in a quandary by the Dorky Balanced Guy.  Now comes righteous indignation with the Bleulab Girl:  


The quality of the picture may not be great -- hey, what do you expect, this was taken with my smart phone while stuck in traffic -- but it's good enough to tell that you're basically looking at an anorexic in this billboard.  I get irritated by the use of unnaturally thin women used to sell products to a wide population, the vast majority of whose female members are nowhere approximating that shape and size.

As if that billboard wouldn't irritate me enough, I checked out the Bluelab website, and this is the image that greeted me:


What the f**k?!  What the hell is that woman wearing?  What's that hand grenade doing in her mouth?  And is that a doily, the kind my grandmother used to have on her furniture, wrapped around her head?  Damn, now I'm really pissed off.

For a much more realistic version of women's bodies, all grenade-free, be sure to check out the website About-Face.  They're wise to these marketing and media types.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

You're Summer Is Over

Gallery of the Absurd watchdog, Mike H., saw this sign at his local gas station, and wanted to share it with everyone:  


In their attempts to give a last minute push to their summer merchandise, they apparently forgot to proofread.  Are you a checklist?

Also, what's with the obsession over sunscreen?  

Monday, September 10, 2012

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 9/10/12

 Hooray!  It's time for the Annoying J. Crew Model for the week of September 10th!

This week we take a look back at the Annoying J. Crew Model archives.  This is one of the images that I had featured in the original Gallery back in the 1990s:













What gets me about this model is that she's proudly going for the Brendon Small look.


I really miss Home Movies.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Smokin' Sexism

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, because it's time for this week's installment of    

RETRO-ADTIVITY



Ah, sexism tinged with a big ol' stinky odor.  This could have been an ad for last week's Republican National Convention in Tampa.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Quotation Nightmare

Here at The Gallery of the Absurd, one of the things I have tried to highlight is the sheer ignorance and/or disregarding of the appropriate use of punctuation in advertisements and signs.  In fact, the special section of the Gallery, "Don't 'Quote' Me on That," is a good example of what I've been trying to feature since the Gallery's founding in 1996.  However, as much as I would like to think that I have seen it all when it comes to inappropriate quotation usage, nothing prepared me for this avalanche of doozies recently posted on the blog Grammarly:  


Much thanks to my good friend and maven of grammatical appropriateness, Rebecca Saulsbury, for alerting me to this posting.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Possibilities Are Endless

I saw this sign at a RaceTrac convenience store in Plano, TX:  


So the options are endless, but they only show two possibilities?

Monday, September 3, 2012

Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week - 9/3/12

Happy Labor Day

From the Gallery of the Absurd and its special feature, the Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week.

Labor Day is about kicking back, taking a break from all of your hard work, and rewarding yourself.


However, at the J. Crew company, "rewarding yourself" is not without risks...such as having to wade through high water.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Klassic Klown Time

Nope, clown time ain't over.  Get ready for this week's installment of    

RETRO-ADTIVITY

Yesterday I featured another in a series of "Reasons to Hate McDonald's" advertisements, and included along with that a frightening image of the very first Ronald McDonald, Willard Scott.  Well, one demented-looking classic clown deserves another:  



A 1960s ad from KTTS, out of Springfield, MO, featuring Tenspot the Clown.  Enjoy your weekend.

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