Thursday, December 26, 2013

Duck Shit

For me, the most depressing part of this holiday is seeing Duck Dynasty sugar cookies with a seasonal theme. Can someone please tell me what in the hell this obnoxious phenomenon has to do with 1) cookies, 2) Christmas, or 3) basic sensibility?

Christmas is supposed to be a time of love, acceptance, and tolerance, and for recognizing a figure who embodied these qualities. So where does Phil Robertson fit into all of this? The real scrooges here, though, are the money grubbers at A&E. Despite their "suspension" of Robertson, viewers will be able to see his hairy puss in the new season beginning next month. I guess "good will toward men" is fine as long as it doesn't affect the bottom line.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Mr. Weenie!

When in beautiful Peru, Indiana, be sure to stop over and enjoy the goodness that is Mr. Weenie.

This was witnessed on our drive up to Indiana over the weekend. My holiday is now complete!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Spatula Facts

I got these new rubber spatulas the other day: 

What struck me were the "helpful hints" on the back. I'm glad that they told me that it was the smaller spatula that would fit in narrower spaces. Otherwise, I would have been at a complete loss.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

All I Want for Christmas Is a Delkus Face

This was a poster I found at my local AutoSplash Car Care Center: 

Pete Delkus is one of the local meteorologists here in Dallas. I know this is for a good cause, and god bless him and the folks at WFAA for doing this every year. But that caricature of Delkus kind of creeps me out.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Lemon Freak

What's the deal with this Brisk Lemonade mascot?

What kind of freak of agricultural nature would create a lemon with four eyes? Think about it, won't you?

Friday, December 13, 2013

Crap-e Christmas

This is one of the reasons I hate holiday advertising: 

Why do you need to "seize" Christmas? Why not just enjoy and celebrate with family and friends?

Screw you, Nike, and that idiot wearing your dumb-ass hoodie! How's that for seizing the holiday spirit?!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Sam I Yam

This syrupy image is provided by good friend, Tracy Floreani

I'm not which is more disturbing: the image of Sam, the mascot, or the fact that he's called "Sugary Sam." What might that suggest?

Monday, December 9, 2013

Evil Gummi

A good friend of the Gallery, Nick Zachariasen, sent in some gummy bear version of an energy drink:

In the words of Nick, "mascots generally shouldn't have rape faces."

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Goodman, Badman

John Goodman, no!!!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Roll'r Derby

Here's something I found the other week and had previously shared with my friend Brian:

There are many things about this that make me curious. Why is that woman holding the roller as if it were a microphone? What's that expression on her face? Why is the lint flying all around her if the roller is supposed to be effective? And what's the deal with "Roll'r"? I guess it just had to be trademarked.

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